Turning 20

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He just turned 20.  How do these things happen?  He was 2, I blinked, and now he is 20.  Good grief.

I think I should receive gifts on my kids’ birthdays!  I think you should, too!  Why not, I ask?  We’ve done all the work.  Kids…they just live.  We keep them alive.  We work hard to keep them from bodily harm and get them to adulthood!  There’s teaching and training and sleepless nights.  There is sacrifice and tears.

Think of the embarrassment.  Just when they are supposed to mind their manners they bust out some tightly lipped family secret.  Some folks know just the right questions to ask and these kids fold!

Oh, the rigors of mothering!

We’ve been pooped on and thrown up on.  If you’re like me, you got really good at catching vomit.  Yep, right here in these two hands.  We’ve been stretched—figuratively and literally.  For many of us, our bodies will NEVER be the same.   Let’s not even talk about the checkbook.

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But, oh, the joys of mothering!

The sloppy, jelly kisses.  The tiny hugs as powerful as any bear hug.  The “I love you’s” and “thank you, mommy’s.”  Or maybe the snuggles and warm bodies tucked up next to you during a midnight storm.  Perhaps it’s the saving of the day or heroic chocolate chip cookies after a wrecked bike or hurt heart.  The paper hearts and handmade gifts.  These are the treasures of motherhood.  I have crates full of my children’s childhoods.

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So many snapshots and memories rest in my heart.  My heart is intrinsically intertwined with my children’s hearts.  How can a mother’s heart be anything but?  Our happiness is hopelessly linked with our children’s happiness.  We are only as happy as our saddest child.  We long for their joy and peace in this life.  We see in them what they sometimes can’t see in themselves.  We believe the world is at their hands.

They look to us to guide them and see them through.  They need us to ride the waves with them and stay steady.  Ready to call them down from the edge.  They want us to be there and hear their hearts.  So many late night chats when hearts are open and walls are down.  So much 24 hours a day being on the ready…on call.

Here are some things I’ve learned with 20 years of parenting on the books:

  • This is a tough job with wonderful rewards.
  • Of all the things I do, almost nothing is more important than mothering.
  • I am investing in the future as I mother.  I am lengthening my life through their’s.
  • It matters how I parent when they are little.  It matters how I parent when they are bigger.
  • They are important, but my marriage and relationship with their Dad is even more important.
  • I may not be able to do everything I want to do right now, but this is a season.  Someday, I will.
  • After they have grown, they need a coach.  I am still making an impact. 
  • As the parent of a Big, it’s my responsibility to keep the relationship open, alive and healthy.

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He is my firstborn.  He was the guinea pig.

He deserves a gold star for surviving the young, inexperienced, often irrational parenting skills I was working with.  I apologized for said craziness as he graduated from high school.  He laughed.  He has great memories.  He doesn’t remember all the mistakes I have cataloged in my brain.  He knows I’m human and make mistakes.

He laughs as he clearly remembers the crossing over to this realization moment all too well.  The one where our kids realize we are not Perfect.  We laugh.  Apologies and “I love you” go a long way to righting the mistakes and healing the hurts.  We work hard to do the best we can with what we have at the time.  Life together is a beautiful ride.

If there is one thing I can look back and see, it is this.

As we take the imperfectness of our human parenting and pair it with the perfectness of God, we can lay our children in His hands and trust for the very best outcome.  No, it won’t always look clean and pretty.  And, there will probably even be some stink.  But inviting God into our parenting journey ensures spiritual consequences we could never create on our own.

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Further, not being a perfect parent, requires our full trust in God.  I’m not sure how parents do this thing without God.  I have to rely on Him to lead the way with each beautifully unique child.  There is no other way to go.  That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.  My shortcomings are miraculously shored up by the One who leads the way.

So, maybe you are still on the upswing with Littles hanging on to your legs.  The days are too long and your energy is running short.  A break would be good right about now.  I hear ya!

Just know, it matters.  It matters a lot.  And, when you get 20 years out from now, your heart will know it for sure, too.  It’s amazing what being on the flip side, at least with one child, will do for perspective.  And, thankfully, I can say I don’t really have too many regrets….other than the insanity that may have taken over from time to time.  But, hey, none of us is perfect….right?  As my father used to say, “It builds character!”

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It’s Fall Y’all!

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What a fabulous summer!  Summer rolled in like the tide.  Its ebbs and flows played a beautiful rhythm.  In fact, this summer led us to places, in ways, we didn’t plan or predict.

I enjoy summer.  It gives me a much needed mental break from the everyday, nonstop hustle of the school year.  Being a homeschool mom certainly has its own challenges as well as joys.  I enjoy the relaxed, easy going, lazier days of summertime.  I’m just always happy to see summer rolling up!

Now, we are sitting at the door of a new school year.  New books, new folders, pens and paper.  A refreshed and renewed attitude.  Students are actually ready to take on the adventure of the new school year.  We attend a homeschool co-op, so everyone is excited to see old friends and make new ones.  It promises to be a great school year.

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As fall is right here at our front door, I can’t help but think of new beginnings.  Where summer chills me out and rigid schedules and patterns relax, the onset of fall calls for renewed energy and the starting of new disciplines.

One of the disciplines that took a hit was my regular time of personal devotion and spiritual reflection.  It was too easy to wake up, roll over and check out social media or the morning news.  What I began to notice was the negativity that awaits you each morning!  Not the shot of grace and hope you actually need to help you start the day effectively.  Whew!  Habits can be hard to break!

I have the dearest of friends who has impacted me.  I have great respect and admiration for her for so many reasons.   One reason being, she has taken an indefinite break from Facebook because she saw the negative impact it had on her parenting and her relating to her kids. Her life had become an interruption to the steady stream of Facebook.  She did what she knew she needed to do.  She is a good and wise momma.

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I find myself longing for a mind break.  I realize the constant stream of social media is exhausting me.  I end up being unable to even slow down mentally.  Any free moment is spent scrolling and perusing and comparing and tuning out the world around me.  The constant onslaught of information makes it really difficult to adequately and appropriately process the world.

Anyway, I see moments of these distractions becoming far too central to my time.

I’m not ready to shut it all off completely.  However, I do need to bring it back to its proper place.  So, the fall is a great time to adjust course.  I have a few apps I will be using to aid me in my spiritual devotion. I highly recommend them for your own daily encouragement.

The first one is “She Reads Truth”.   Besides being inspirational, this app is beautiful!  Here is the link for you to check it out.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/she-reads-truth-bible-+-devotional/id892128363?mt=8

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The second one is “First 5” by Proverbs 31 Ministries.  This program has additional resources you can purchase to go along with the study on the app.  This one is pretty cool!  You can use this app as an alarm; it will wake you with the new devotional for the day.  Here is the link:

http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/make-your-first-5-count/

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The third one I use occasionally is “Jesus Calling.”  I have used this in book form, but use the app more frequently as of late.  Here is the link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/jesus-calling/id607521654?mt=11

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A fourth resource I am going to use for devotional time with the kids is  https://instagram.com/100dayswithjesus/.  This is a study focusing on the 100 names of God.  It isn’t geared just to children, but they do have a portion that can help relate it to children.  I am excited for this!

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It seems to help me to have these devotionals to turn to each day.  I am all for whatever can challenge and meet me where I am.  Different seasons call for different resources.  During this renewed season, I am also purposing to pray for my kids more.  This is not a safe world; what greater thing can a mother do than pray for her children?   At this moment I am praying for wisdom, protection and favor with God and man.

I am excited for this fresh fall season.  It’s time to reign in my crew and provide more structure and order to our days.  The lazy days of summer are much needed, but now it’s time for the focus that fall brings.

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What are you looking forward to about this new season?  What resources do you utilize to guide your meditation and reflection?  I would love to hear what inspires you and draws your closer to God.  I think it is exciting to see the way different personalities connect with God.  We don’t all do it the same way.  And isn’t that great?   What disciplines work well for you?  I want to hear about it!

I would love to have you join me on this journey of hope and grace!  Sign up with your email address to receive a weekly blog post delivered straight to your inbox.  Here’s to grace and hope and future days!

Disappointment

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Disappointment.

Who isn’t familiar with it?  It’s a part of life.

Walking through disappointment with kids will wrench your gut and wring you out.  As a mom, I know life happens.  There is no way to protect them from disappointment and do them justice.  In those hard moments, there is so much wisdom to be poured into these sensitive hearts.

I really love those moments of teaching our young ones to process pain and disappointment in a healthy way.  I certainly don’t love the circumstances that bring the pain, though.  But, what shallow and weak human beings they will be if I don’t shepherd them through their difficulties.

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Today was such a day.  Another disappointing report crushed a young heart.  I could see it–a beautiful face fighting hard to hold back the tears.  A heart full of dreams and faith.  Lots of believing and praying childlike prayers.  It was in that moment I had to close my mouth and say a prayer.  I prayed for the right words to ignite a fire of faith.  My first thought was, “Lord, what do I say to another disappointing report?  What are you going to do about this?”

I know all too well these times come.  We don’t hear the answer we want to hear, we are passed by for what we deserve, people don’t live up to our expectations and wound us, or there is another delay in our answer.  And, we ask, “What am I supposed to do about this?  Where are you, God?”

Here are 3 thoughts to help us through these moments:

  • God sees and knows.
  • He never leaves us or forsakes us.
  • God works all things out for our good.

I absolutely believe God sees and knows all that is going on in our lives.  I know He never leaves us or forsakes us.  I know for a fact He works all things out for our good.  I know these three things to be true in my life.

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We have walked through some incredibly severe and trying situations as a family and I remember sensing God speak to me that He had seen it all and knows it all.  What a comfort that was to me!  Just hearing that affirmation of love still brings hope to my heart.  You know what that means?  He had never left me and He truly understands my pain like no other.  He would vindicate and heal the wounds in His good time.

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I told my disappointed one yesterday that God does not always answer in the fashion in which we envision in our minds.  Our small box of plans can’t even begin to hold the answer He has for our situations.  And further, if our disappointment and need hasn’t been answered just yet and we’re still breathing, then the answer is still on the way!

Big lessons for a young one.  Better to learn and solidify your faith at a young age and know for yourself this great big God of the universe than have to wait until your older and have no clue who He is!  Yes, I would love for this life to be smoother sailing, with more positive reports, but, I know He is with us even in those moments.

He is walking through it all with us.

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By the way, lots of love and hugs help, too!  God isn’t shocked or offended by our pain and questions.  Take some time to grieve and process the loss or disappointment.  Talk it out and then move forward.  By the end, a little ice cream hit the spot!  There are no callous “stop crying and suck it up” talks in this house.  But, we are learning to not wallow in our pain.  Eventually, we were able to laugh a little and hug it out!

So, what disappointment have you swallowed lately?  It is sure to come.  But, you can stand strong when you remember this:  He sees and knows; He certainly hasn’t left me;  And, I know good is on the way—it may not look exactly how I planned, but His perfect plan is at work in my life.

Hey….maybe you should even have a little mint chocolate chip ice cream to top it off!

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Would you like to read more about this wonderful journey through this one beautiful life?  Sign up to receive a post delivered straight to your inbox each week.  I would love to have you join me on this journey of hope!  Here’s to a great week!

Sweet, Simple Life

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I am thankful for the small graces in my every day.

Sometimes, it seems as if a whole host of things can go wrong at the same time.  You know, you’ve had it happen to you.   You’re busy running around marking off your to-do list, trying to go out of town and the lawnmower and trimmer break down and the yard police are watching.  The equipment is new, mind you!  Or maybe your child (or as they blame the sibling) has lost their phone.  Thorough searching has gone on without success, but it is imperative for the child to have one, since they are going on a trip without you.  So, the race is on to find a replacement that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. (Because, of course, the child is not due for an upgrade.)

Sometimes, there is just so much to do.  Just do the normal day to day responsibilities, but throw in some hiccups and you feel up to your eyeballs trying to squeeze it all in.  But, I’m thankful.

I’ll be candid with you.  I deal with some anxiety issues.  I’m well aware of what it feels like for me and some of my triggers.  So, today, amid all the running and preparing for the five of us to travel, and make sure our four-legged fur baby is taken care of, I was feeling the effects of anxiety.  I usually call my husband and clue him in on my anxiety.  Instead of trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away, I recognize it at the start and have learned to handle it head on, right at the beginning.  I knew he would pray for me.

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I also had to remind myself that this life is beautiful.  While the responsibilities sometimes feel overwhelming, compared to what others are facing, this is simply life.  One important lesson I learned in counseling is to learn the difference between a crisis and everyday glitches in life.

Broken lawnmowers and lost phones aren’t crises, just life to be managed.  I’m blessed to have a family of my own to care for and nurture.  I remind myself these days are truly short.  While I taxi and run errands, I am caring for my family.  All of this is life.  Beautiful life.

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It takes careful mindfulness to control our thoughts and harness them for power.  I’m learning to not spin into sidewise energy, by not focusing on the glitches and hiccups along the way.  Yikes!  I am not always so good, so I am talking to me today, too.  But, amid the shopping and working through my list of to-do’s, my anxiety disappeared.  (I also think my Honey’s prayers made a difference, too.)  About an hour later, my husband called to check in on me, and I realized my anxiety was gone.  I didn’t let it derail me or steal my joy.

Here are a few ideas for dealing with anxiety:

  1. Stop and look for the source of the anxiety.  See if there is any merit to it. 
  2. Invite someone you trust into your moment.
  3. Pray.
  4. Remind yourself to slow down and enjoy the process.
  5. Be mindful of your thoughts and words.

Life runs at breakneck speeds and sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that all is well.  Remember what is truly a crisis and what is an annoyance or mere, every day stuff.  This is what life is about.  It isn’t all the big, splashy moments.  Most of our days are made up of ordinary life stuff.

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I am learning to appreciate the simpleness of everyday living.   At this point in my life, I am thankful to  just live normal, everyday life.  It is beautiful–complete with bumps and hiccups.  Finding beauty in the simple, and even in the middle of challenging annoyances, is the key to living more fully and peacefully in the everyday.

 

 

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Who Do You Trust?

 

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I can remember sitting on the edge of the bed with each of my children.  Or sometimes it was sitting with them curled up next to me on the sofa.  We were having one of our many heart to heart talks.  To me, those are some of my most treasured moments.  As they poured out their concerns or dreams from their tender hearts, I intently listened.  Sometimes, I didn’t have an answer; lots of times I did.  The one thing I remember teaching them is this,

“If it matters to you then it matters to God.”

Sometimes, their concern was over a lost toy or an unfortunate situation.  Other times, their concern was the bigger-than-life dreams they were dreaming.  Either way, I often brought them back to this one thought.

If it matters to you then it matters to God.

In this life we need hope.  Not a misguided and misplaced hope, but a hope rooted in the strength and care of God.  This isn’t a false hope.  It was never promised that God was our genie in a bottle looking to grant every wish.  They understood that.  We might not get the response we want, but God gives the very best He knows we need.

God looks at our hearts with care.  He sees all the things in future days we can not see.  He sees where our choices lead.  He knows what we need.  But, the really cool thing is God cares about the things we care about.  He created us and knows us.

This is a great comfort for my soul.  Our desires are not petty or insignificant. In fact, if He knew us before we were ever in our mother’s womb, wouldn’t that include what our desires and interests would be?  We are not created out of chance.

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This thought always seemed to comfort my children.  And, in the the process, I was aiming for a deep heart connection with the One who created them.  I know they take this thought with them even now.  Now, they are older.  The stakes are quite a bit higher.  Just the other day my oldest needed a reminder.  I think we all need to be reminded at points along the journey.  When the cost is higher or the dream is bigger and when we aren’t talking about lost childhood trinkets, we need to remember.  Now, we are talking about which paths to walk, which choices to make, which dreams to dream.  Or, maybe it is about provision in the real world—having real needs in this real world.  But, perhaps, it is something you think is small and insignificant, and doesn’t even warrant an audience with God.

If it matters to you then it matters to God.

Fear need not rule the day.  Our Father hears and knows.  He’s got us.  Who do you trust?  I mean, REALLY trust.  Are you trusting in yourself to get things done and to make it happen?  Do you have dreams and desires and believe you are the only one to get it done?  Maybe that is your life track record–“If it is to be then it’s up to me!”  No one ever sat with you and really listened to what was burdening your soul.  Well, I’m here today to tell you it matters.  It all matters.

Does it matter to you?  Then it matters to God. 

He’s not a magic genie looking to grant you three wishes.  But, He does care about what keeps you up at night and aches in your heart.  Trusting only in ourselves leads to a weary and worn soul.

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Things haven’t turned out quite how you wanted?  Things don’t really look like what you dreamed of in your heart?  He cares.  And, what’s even best, He sees the right answer for every situation.  Scripture teaches us to cast our burden on Him because He cares for us.  I’m amazed at all of the times God has revealed Himself to my children.  Children.  He has proven Himself over and over to them.  And, even though they are children, they have experienced some tough stuff.  And so, they are learning He can be trusted.

You may not be a child anymore, but He is waiting to listen.  If He will reveal Himself to a child, He will reveal Himself to you.  What is it that matters to you?  What is aching in your soul?

 If it matters to you then it matters to Him!

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Where Is Your Life?

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It’s been a really great summer.  Sleeping in (my favorite!), road tripping around the area, reconnecting with friends, reading, watching my boy play ball, and playing taxi.  Pretty much loving life and feeling grateful.  We enjoyed a great day for our anniversary.  We kept it simple and relaxing.  And I am so thankful.  My kids are pursuing their passions, living life and having a good time doing it.  God is blessing their lives and you can see His love for us.

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In the last few years, I haven’t always been able to say that.  Maybe that’s you, too.  We’ve experienced financial reversal, faced rejection, suffered at the hands of people and felt like we were going through hell.  I realize that isn’t the warm and fuzzy thing to say.  Suffering depression, anxiety and PTSD was never on the order list we sent up.  When 4 out of 5 in your family have to be medicated just to handle daily life, I’m telling you, that’s not what you order up.  Who does?

But, it happens.  Life happens.  I remember a couple of years ago, living life with a teenager and   just being thankful we were dealing with normal teenager stuff.  We had come a long way.  Moving from constant crisis mode to dealing with everyday issues was such a relief.  I even found some much needed humor in that.

A few years ago, I was walking the neighborhood, thinking life would never get back to normal.  I just wanted it to so desperately.  Whatever that was supposed to be.  What I thought was normal life, happened to be a private hell for someone most dear to me.  That was an eye opening thought.  A paradigm shift.

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Life changes—often on a dime.  We had more stuff going wrong and our lives turned upside than I had ever thought possible.  But, following dreams and doing big things, often stirs up the waters.  We weren’t living the status quo; life threw not-status-quo stuff back at us.

But, here we are a few years out and life has smoothed out just fine.  In the heat of it, when your neck is being scorched by the fire and heat, life looks pretty much like it is never again going to smooth out.  That seems like a very distant memory.  I got you on that one.  We are looking eyeball to eyeball, and I say, I know it.  It hurts.  It really hurts.

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I was reading some Scripture today and wanted to share it with you.  My heart skipped a beat when I read it.  Yes!  I felt it!  I knew it!  Psalm 16 is a great chapter.  Take a look at it with me.

Keep me safe, my God,

for in you I take refuge.

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

apart from you I have no good thing.”

I say of the holy people who are in the land,

“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”

Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.

I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods

or take up their names on my lips.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;

you make my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord.

With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

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because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,

nor will you let your faithful[b] one see decay.

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You make known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

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Verses 5 and 6 really lit up for me.  Go ahead! Check those out again!  Many of the first years of living in Virginia were beyond hard.  It has been a challenge testing everything we were made of and then some!  But, we’ve come out on the other side.  We’ve fought hard and won!  We trusted in Him and depended on Him to get us through.  We took refuge in Christ.  We kept our eyes on Christ.  I really don’t know where we would have ended up if we hadn’t had Christ.  People will disappoint you;  people will betray and reject you.  Christ is forever the one where our hearts find peace.

So, back to the present.  Life is good.  Life is beautiful.  When you taste the bitter, the sweet is so much sweeter!  When you walk through the darkness, the light is that much brighter!  When you lose things precious, the blessings are that much more treasured.  You have to experience the sad to appreciate the joy.

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Such is life.  My life boundaries are falling in pleasant places.  That makes me happy.  We are doing life.  It’s not perfect, but what is?  But, it sure is beautiful!

A Letter To My Loves

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To Our Loves,

As your Dad and I celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary, I hope you have witnessed a growing, deep love.  It’s hard to believe we are at 24…..next year is 25 and we will be celebrating in fine style!  But until then….

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Your Dad and I met in 1988.  I know it seems so very long ago.  We married in 1991 while we were young and full of dreams.  I suggest you marry when your heart is full of love and bright with dreams.  Young love can be challenging, and I often say older is probably better.  But, here’s what I know, your dreams grow together and you figure out life with someone close by your side when you start out younger.  Life is good in pairs.  That may not work out for you exactly like that, but if your heart is open, your head is solidly on your shoulders and feet are firmly planted on the ground, run through this life together.  You won’t have all the money you need (and money is really good!), but God will provide if you listen closely to Him.

You will never find the “perfect” Mr. or Mrs. Right.  Everyone has flaws.  You have to decide what you can live with and what is non-negotiable.  Nobody you love will be perfect.  Absolutely nobody.  So, if you find love and depth of character, decide whether you can live this life without them.  Some flaws are obviously worse than others.  Run!  Run, like the wind!  But, you know I have taught you, they need to love Jesus, serve Him and love their family.  Of course, each of you have things you love and desire and things that won’t fly.  Listen to your heart!  My sweet girl, if you can find someone like your Daddy, you will be a woman most blessed.  My strong men, I hope in some way I have shown you what a Jesus-loving wife should represent.

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Love hits bumps and gets bruises.  The real beauty comes from walking out whatever life has to throw at you.  Not running away.  It’s the living out grace and faith through the rough patches.  It isn’t always pretty or easy, but marriage isn’t just about you.  The other person doesn’t complete you—you are whole just as you are.  One goal of marriage is to help your Love fulfill their dreams.  And together, if you both do that, you will achieve more than you ever could on your own.

As you journey together, you will change and grow.  So will the Love of your life.  That is good.  When you are Jesus followers, He will change you and grow you.  So, encourage them to grow.  Life is a journey; and, no, you will not know what you or your Love will look like 24 years from the day you walk down the aisle.  But, if you open your hearts and journey together, you come out on the other side even better than when you started out.

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Our journey has been filled with so much fun!  Trips to Walt Disney World, the Rocky Mountains and the Grand Canyon.  Trips to the ocean and visits to opposite coasts.  Trips to other countries and close to home.  So many fabulous memories!  Life is what you make it.  Marriage is too.  Don’t wait for the golden years or someday to live life.  Do what you can, when you can.  You aren’t promised those yonder days.  Make the most of now.  It may mean you have to do it with some financial finesse, but do it nonetheless.

Remember, the children don’t run the corner office!  Teach them there is something out there bigger than them.  They can’t survive without that!  And, that, my dears, starts at home.  Your marriage is first.  Your Love is first.  Yes, there are seasons in which the children’s activities will dominate the schedule.  But, remember your love comes first.  Do what you can, when you can!  Date nights and time and moments have to be taken.  Learn your Love’s love language and do what you can to meet it.  It may be a stretch for you to think outside the box of your own idea of love, but do it.  Try hard!  Give it all you’ve got!  Children need to see their parents in love.  That is when they are most secure.  Oh, they will complain and be grossed out—gross them out anyway!

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Many times, you will be called upon to sacrifice.  That is life.  Sometimes you will have to give more than you think you have to give.  Many times you will have to set yourself aside for the moment and give out of yourself so your Love can have what they need.  And they will have to do the same.  I know this flies against the current culture.  Often times you will find a godly marriage will.  Many times, a godly marriage will have to go counter-culture to survive and grow.  In fact, I will say, most of the time you will find yourself needing to live counter-culture to protect your family.  Do it!  Make the sacrifice!  Your home, your family and all that is to come will depend on it.

There is so much more to say that comes from 24 years of marriage.  But, I’m sure that will come in time.  I wouldn’t change it for the world!  Yes, I wish I had done some things differently.  I wish I had loved better and understood more. But life and love is a journey.  Your Dad is a great example of loving—many times I feel he has done it better than I.  But, we are in it for the distance!  We’ve been through a lot, but we’ve also experienced so much laughter, joy and love.  I wouldn’t do this journey with anybody else.FullSizeRender

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Choose wisely, my Loves!  But don’t be afraid!  Love and marriage aren’t perfect, but definitely worth the effort!

 

Oh! Say Can You See?

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I think I have gypsy blood.

I always love a good road trip.  I have to admit, living in Virginia makes it possible to have some grand road trips!  What better time to head out than the Fourth of July.  So much history and beauty surrounds us, right here in America.  Living near the historical triangle and all points north and up the east coast, we have more opportunities to see and do epically cool stuff than we have time for.

My kids have “done” the DC tourist thing for the last 7 years quite faithfully.  So, they are a little tired of the museums.  Monuments and the White House are always cool.  But, in a quest to find more chill sights, we relaxed and explored our way through this weekend.

Our first stop was our favorite local DC restaurant—Tortilla Coast.  It is situated near-ish to the Capital. We usually stop there for lunch when we first hit town.  Such amazing Tex-Mex.  Nothing really beats it for two thumbs up!  We couldn’t help ourselves and stopped by The Supreme Court and The Library of Congress buildings.  Thought we would just say hello!  They are just up the street from Tortilla Coast.

Tortilla Coast - June 13, 2014 in Washington, D.C. (M. Scott Mahaskey/POLITICO)

Tortilla Coast – June 13, 2014 in Washington, D.C. (M. Scott Mahaskey/POLITICO)

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The US Supreme Court building

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The Library of Congress building

This time around we opted to stay outside DC and at the National Harbor.  This was a great choice for us.  Being we aren’t the “rough it” type, and I have never met a tent I liked, the hotel had the requisite pool and jacuzzi and plenty of room to roam and relax.  We had a great view of the Potomac and plenty of restaurants and shops to choose from.  We even stopped for ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s.

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National Harbor

It was nice to sleep in and move at a leisurely pace.  We did some swimming and reading and chilling in the jacuzzi.  We rented bikes in Georgetown and road the Crescent Trail.  We are finally at the age with the kids where we can all ride safely and at the same pace.  This was a definite do-again for us!  We would like to take advantage of some trails closer to home—where we don’t have to rent bikes, but use our own.  It is always fun to experience something together as a family and realize we all would like to do it again.  The trail gave us opportunity to take some fun photos and enjoy the natural beauty of the Potomac.  We biked six miles and returned just in time to avoid the downpour that held off for us!

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Crescent Trail, DC

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Crescent Trail rest stop

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Sunday morning, after sleeping in, we had our Starbucks and loaded up.  We saved Annapolis for the end of the trip….some of the best for last!  What a beautiful old city!  Historic Annapolis is a gem.  I am in love with historic towns and their uneven, imperfect streets and houses.  This was a first for us and we  loved this place.  And, what greater time to visit such a place than the Fourth of July weekend.  Flags and bunting waved proudly from front porches and street lights.  We experienced First Sunday, which is a local arts festival held on the first Sunday of each month during the summer and into the fall—live music and artisans lined the old brick paved street.  Note to self:  it isn’t a Farmers Market.  I was kindly disabused of that notion by one artsy artist.

Anyway, we ate lunch….the children dined on hamburgers from each restaurant this weekend, except for the italian meal…they had pizza!  For a local feel, we ate at the Rams Head Tavern.  Very nice people; great food!

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Lunch stop in Annapolis (TripAdvisor, photo cred)

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Stroll through Annapolis

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I’m a sucker for historic homes, so my Honey found one for us to tour.  Apparently, several signers of the Declaration of Independence called Annapolis home.  We visited The William Paca House and Gardens and enjoyed the walk around the neighborhoods.  The stories these old brick paved streets and generations-old trees have witnessed and could tell!  The families and their stories fill these homes.  I am in love with Annapolis; it deserves another trip.  I think I will!

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Photo cred: Joshua McKerrow, The Capital Gazette

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The William Paca House and Gardens

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Some natural beauty, The William Paca House and Gardens

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Governor’s Mansion, Annapolis

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Life is made up of moments.  We live far from family and so we make moments with our little family.  I looked on Facebook and Instagram and saw the family get-togethers and the fun memories being made.   Make the memories and have the experiences!  And, they don’t have to be Pinterest worthy to be amazing!!  People seem to be happier with experiences more than stuff.  Take time to create that timeless bond with those you love.  One of our favorite ways is through road-tripping.  And honestly, you don’t have to go far or blow wads of money to make it happen.  Find what works for your family.

My two youngest kiddos have discovered a love for photography.  That was a fun addition to this trip.  These pictures (except for the pics of the restaurants and William Paca house) were taken by them.  It made for a fun, new way of discovering the world (aside from the squabbling over the camera!!).

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We were missing our oldest this time around.  I guess those days are coming.  I’m not feeling like I’m very good at sharing, but I will keep working on it.  Thank goodness for Face Time, because Mommas don’t like having any of their loves out of pocket!  But, I know, the memories we have made over the years will hold him tight.  Here’s to the next road trip and gypsy blood–I’m already plotting one!

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Roots and Wings

Has anyone ever told you
that your job as a parent
is to give your Loves
roots and then give them wings?
Roots
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That is such a beautiful phrase.  I love it.  There is something about that line that creates such an image of beauty and strength coupled together.  And what a dichotomy!  Such different words.
Roots, wings. 
The nature of roots makes us think of an earthy, gritty, life-source, sustaining and supporting foundation.  The essence of wings calls to mind flight, self-supporting strength, beauty, resourcefulness and gracefulness.  It seems to me there may be a connection between the two.
The symbolism can’t be dismissed.
Parenting. 
The word alone can intimidate you.  In one moment, you may go from feeling completely in control, to feeling utterly out of control in seconds.  You might be on track and feeling successful one moment, but in a split second you realize everything is not as it appears.  You often lack sleep; you just may find your interests and passions intertwine or collide with late night talks full of tears and reassuring hugs.  It’s not an easy world in which to raise children.  You exhaust yourself by always being diligent and on guard.  If you’re wise, you realize you need divine help in taking these Loves from birth to flight.  And you don’t get a whole heck of a lot of time to accomplish it.  A mom further down the road than me offered this valuable piece of wisdom when my oldest was barely two…..the days are long, but the years are short.  On many occasions, this helped me keep my perspective and make wiser decisions.
There are so many joys in parenting. 
One of my all time favorites is watching my Loves find their passions and dream big dreams.  There’s nothing like the “I love you” or “Thanks, mom” that comes from hearts genuine with feeling.  Watching your Loves learn from their mistakes, and trying their best not to repeat the same mistake…..whether they do or not, to see the effort to learn is what matters.  Knowing your kids are making the right choices along the way–when choosing the wrong would have been so much easier–brings so much joy.  Gooey kisses and slobbery hugs go a long way to making parenting easier.
I am focusing over the next two weeks on the topic entitled “Roots and Wings”.  Almost 20 years into this parenting gig (that’s a LOT of toddler and preschooler years!), and I often say to my kiddos, “This isn’t my first rodeo.”  I really like to remind them of this.  Especially when they think they have a new take on a particularly time-worn lesson.  My Honey will often remind me, to my chagrin, he isn’t a first-time parent.  I haven’t experienced it all, by any means, and I’m sure my other two at home have some surprises for me along the way!
Here are a couple things I have learned along the way.
Whether you were parented well or not does not determine your parenting ability. 
I also know God gave you those particular children because you have what it takes to get them from nest to flight.
There is such beauty in parenting. 
There is loads of grace for it too. 
God does not leave us unequipped for the job he gives us.
We just have to look for his hand and be open to his guidance.  God says, “I got you!”
He will give you every good thing you need to bring your children up to be what he intends for them to be.  He will give you the grace to do all he has called you to do.
Whether that is
parenting + an outside career
or
staying at home full time + pursuing passions that fuel you,
he knows exactly how he formed you and is working to bring out the gifts he placed within you.
I would love for you to join me on this journey.  I look forward to sharing a few things I have learned along the way.  I believe God can give you just what you need.  I don’t know exactly what that is, but he does.  Let’s meet together and see what He has to say!
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