unbelief

Disappointment.

Who isn’t familiar with it? It’s a part of life.

Walking through disappointment with kids will wrench your gut and wring you out. As a mom, I know life happens. There is no way to protect them from disappointment and do them justice. In those hard moments, there is so much wisdom to be poured into these sensitive hearts.

I really love those moments of teaching our young ones to process pain and disappointment in a healthy way. I certainly don’t love the circumstances that bring the pain, though. But, what shallow and weak human beings they will be if I don’t shepherd them through their difficulties.

Today was such a day. Another disappointing report crushed a young heart. I could see it–a beautiful face fighting hard to hold back the tears. A heart full of dreams and faith. Lots of believing and praying childlike prayers. It was in that moment I had to close my mouth and say a prayer. I prayed for the right words to ignite a fire of faith. My first thought was, “Lord, what do I say to another disappointing report? What are you going to do about this?”

I know all too well these times come. We don’t hear the answer we want to hear, we are passed by for what we deserve, people don’t live up to our expectations and wound us, or there is another delay in our answer. And, we ask, “What am I supposed to do about this? Where are you, God?”

Here are 3 thoughts to help us through these moments:

God sees and knows.
He never leaves us or forsakes us.
God works all things out for our good.

I absolutely believe God sees and knows all that is going on in our lives. I know He never leaves us or forsakes us. I know for a fact He works all things out for our good. I know these three things to be true in my life.

We have walked through some incredibly severe and trying situations as a family and I remember sensing God speak to me that He had seen it all and knows it all. What a comfort that was to me! Just hearing that affirmation of love still brings hope to my heart. You know what that means? He had never left me and He truly understands my pain like no other. He would vindicate and heal the wounds in His good time.

I told my disappointed one yesterday that God does not always answer in the fashion in which we envision in our minds. Our small box of plans can’t even begin to hold the answer He has for our situations. And further, if our disappointment and need hasn’t been answered just yet and we’re still breathing, then the answer is still on the way!

Big lessons for a young one. Better to learn and solidify your faith at a young age and know for yourself this great big God of the universe than have to wait until your older and have no clue who He is! Yes, I would love for this life to be smoother sailing, with more positive reports, but, I know He is with us even in those moments.

He is walking through it all with us.

By the way, lots of love and hugs help, too! God isn’t shocked or offended by our pain and questions. Take some time to grieve and process the loss or disappointment. Talk it out and then move forward. By the end, a little ice cream hit the spot! There are no callous “stop crying and suck it up” talks in this house. But, we are learning to not wallow in our pain. Eventually, we were able to laugh a little and hug it out!

So, what disappointment have you swallowed lately? It is sure to come. But, you can stand strong when you remember this: He sees and knows; He certainly hasn’t left me; And, I know good is on the way—it may not look exactly how I planned, but His perfect plan is at work in my life.

Hey….maybe you should even have a little mint chocolate chip ice cream to top it off!

Would you like to read more about this wonderful journey through this one beautiful life? Sign up to receive a post delivered straight to your inbox each week. I would love to have you join me on this journey of hope! Here’s to a great week!

Forgiveness. The word makes me sweat.

I am an emotional person. I feel things deeply. I take things to heart. My heart gets bruised. And, it’s not just about me. I am madly in love with my husband and children. They are my world. When they hurt, I hurt. When bad things happen to them, it might as well be me! I am very emotive….so much estrogen. Just ask my family. (Think mother bear!)

The biggest lesson of my life came in October 2011. Desperate to end his nightmare, our child spilled his hurt and pain to my husband. We knew this person. We thought she was safe—she wanted to be a youth pastor and we were mentoring her towards that end. We thought we knew and understood her well.

Apparently, we didn’t.

The days that followed were full of rage, pain and complete shock. We navigated the legal system, detectives, and victim advocates in a haze of unbelief. Not unbelief of our child’s story. We never doubted him. Sitting in the detective’s office, trying to answer endless questions, we just couldn’t figure out how we had gotten to this point.

How could someone do this to one of our own and to our family?

I never dreamed, in all my days, I would be sitting

in a courtroom listening to all the graphic details of the abuse.

Who does?

Betrayal of any kind is painful.

At this level, it was hard to breathe. We had done so much to better the life and future of this caregiver; providing opportunities for a future that would not have come anywhere else.

We did receive justice in the legal system. We are grateful. It started the healing process for our boy and for us. We felt heard and understood. Unfortunately, in today’s culture, male victims of female perpetrators many times don’t receive equal justice. But, we did. And that is nothing short of a miracle.

But, see, this is where it gets gritty.

As Christ Followers, we are taught to forgive.

For the longest time I wasn’t in any place to forgive. I needed time and space to process and heal.

And I honestly think God was okay with that. I learned something important.

Everybody moves at their own pace and the journey is cyclical—just like in the grieving process.

FORGIVENESS IS NOT EASY NOR CHEAP.

I have to say, there are some days I don’t feel as if I have forgiven very well. Most days, three years isn’t long enough to pay for the level of trauma, fear and pain he endured. And, if I am really honest (please allow me),

I can’t understand how God could forgive this, much less me.

I know this: If I surrender my deep betrayal and pain to God, and follow His lead, He will walk me through this difficult journey of forgiveness.

I am learning that forgiveness is a journey.

This past week was a perfect example of how much work I have left to do, but how far I have come! It was a milestone in our journey. He knows we are human. We are not perfect in this earthly skin.

I think forgiveness isn’t a one and done type of thing either.

It is a process—a lifelong journey that brings great peace. I imagine I will work the rest of my life to forgive fully and completely as I know Christ does. I know God knows my humanity.

He gives me strength and power to do what I can’t seem to do on my own.

As you can see, it makes the top 10 of the hardest lessons I will learn in life. And I’m still trying to figure it all out. It is a team effort with God leading the way. I’ll follow in His footsteps and I know all will be alright.

What about you? Do you have something that screams for forgiveness but you just don’t know how? Can you give yourself grace knowing God does when you are walking hand in hand….moving in His unhurried rhythms of grace?

My friend, I know it is hard. I hate the cliches.

But, God is jealous for you and is aware of your pain.

Sit and listen for His rhythm of grace.

Amberly reynolds

sweet sage lane

Disappointment

Forgiveness…..It Makes Me Sweat