…..May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!!
There is something that calls to me from this Scripture. You will find it in I Thessalonians 5:23-24. This world has a way of pulling us into a million pieces. Start with responsibilities, toss in a few wounds, mix in unmet expectations, throw in some disappointment and there you have it! I would never say life is all bad. But, stuff happens, and there ya go!
As a mom, one of the most important things is to see your children whole and happy—living to the fullest. When you see one of those cubs struggling to stay afloat, your instincts kicks into gear. I’m sure you are familiar with “Mother Bear” syndrome. I’m really familiar with it!
I do believe I lived in Mother Bear mode for about 3 years. There’s not a thing that can be said to a woman in full-on MB. Those cubs are the treasures and the way I see it, it’s our responsibility (with my honey) to get them from start to adulthood in one relatively good, solid piece. They need to be someone people can stand to be with and do something good with the space they take up. They need to pursue their passions and dreams and be all they can be.
So, when life starts getting in the way and you see your treasures fracturing and losing their handhold, MB mode is on high alert! My prayers for my hurting child were for him to be whole…. nothing missing and nothing broken in his life. I didn’t want the pain and anguish he experienced at the hand of someone so incredibly selfish to derail and destroy greatness within. I prayed and prayed for the wholeness which was rightfully his.
I remember God spoke to my heart that “he had seen it all” and my child and family would be healed and whole. He cared even more than I did. I wrote it down. I clung to that promise as my lifeline. That was over 2 years ago. I haven’t forgotten.
But, there have been times I have felt that the progress just was not good enough. It wasn’t a complete enough healing. I remember telling God during a particular season this wasn’t going to be good enough. Next try, please. I’m not sure what God thought about that. But, I felt I was exercising my faith. I knew God told me the broken parts would be healed….this wasn’t healed, as I understood healing! It certainly was a start, but I was believing for wholeness. There was a pain and hurt so deep that only God could touch it. But, I believed. I hid that promise in my heart.
I’ve watched him on this journey. Huge steps forward and some hiccups along the way. He wants it just as much as we do for him. It takes time and is a long journey that is neither easy nor enjoyable. But the strength of his spirit is inspiring and one of a true fighter; he will not be labeled a victim. For all of us, we want quick, easy answers and solutions to the pain and loss. We know such answers won’t come. But, I haven’t stopped believing!
Now, here we are. Three years later, great ground has been covered, healing has taken place, much learning and growing has been experienced. And, I am still watching and listening. God is answering and doing what he said he would do.
I just had an incredible conversation with my boy. He experienced God in a powerful way during his university’s chapel service a couple of weeks ago. He isn’t one to share his personal pain on a constant basis and has a list in his heart he knew intimately….hurt and pain he had just assumed would always be there. He was coping. God said, “That’s not good enough.” God promised…..and he is delivering. God came in that moment….even when my boy wasn’t looking for it. He met him there and brought more healing and hope to the hidden and private pain. He talked of joy like he hadn’t experienced in years. Oh! How a mama’s heart is healed by hearing such things.
When God promises something, he delivers. Our timetable is rarely correct. He doesn’t work on Human Standard Time. When he promises he will make you whole, putting together body, mind and soul, that is what he intends to do. I haven’t given up. It comes out of nowhere, looking different than I expect. But, oh my!
A few days before my son’s extraordinary moment with God, God sent a reminder to me of this very verse. I took note. He gently reminded me and turned my head toward him. I knew. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came and amazed us once again.
He’s just cool like that.
One thought on “The Whole Of It”
Having been through almost the same situation with my son. I completely understand how much it heals your heart when you can see your son healing. They say a mother is only as happy as her saddest child. I never understood that until these last few years. Some days I can see my son hopeful and then, he will have a bad day and it seems all the things from the past come in to crush him just for good measure. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Dads are protectors of the person and moms are protectors of the heart. Thanks for sharing. 🙂