Sweet, Simple Life

August 5, 2015August 1, 2015 / morgancreynolds / Leave a comment

I am thankful for the small graces in my every day.

Sometimes, it seems as if a whole host of things can go wrong at the same time. You know, you’ve had it happen to you. You’re busy running around marking off your to-do list, trying to go out of town and the lawnmower and trimmer break down and the yard police are watching. The equipment is new, mind you! Or maybe your child (or as they blame the sibling) has lost their phone. Thorough searching has gone on without success, but it is imperative for the child to have one, since they are going on a trip without you. So, the race is on to find a replacement that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. (Because, of course, the child is not due for an upgrade.)

Sometimes, there is just so much to do. Just do the normal day to day responsibilities, but throw in some hiccups and you feel up to your eyeballs trying to squeeze it all in. But, I’m thankful.

I’ll be candid with you. I deal with some anxiety issues. I’m well aware of what it feels like for me and some of my triggers. So, today, amid all the running and preparing for the five of us to travel, and make sure our four-legged fur baby is taken care of, I was feeling the effects of anxiety. I usually call my husband and clue him in on my anxiety. Instead of trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away, I recognize it at the start and have learned to handle it head on, right at the beginning. I knew he would pray for me.

I also had to remind myself that this life is beautiful. While the responsibilities sometimes feel overwhelming, compared to what others are facing, this is simply life. One important lesson I learned in counseling is to learn the difference between a crisis and everyday glitches in life.

Broken lawnmowers and lost phones aren’t crises, just life to be managed. I’m blessed to have a family of my own to care for and nurture. I remind myself these days are truly short. While I taxi and run errands, I am caring for my family. All of this is life. Beautiful life.

It takes careful mindfulness to control our thoughts and harness them for power. I’m learning to not spin into sidewise energy, by not focusing on the glitches and hiccups along the way. Yikes! I am not always so good, so I am talking to me today, too. But, amid the shopping and working through my list of to-do’s, my anxiety disappeared. (I also think my Honey’s prayers made a difference, too.) About an hour later, my husband called to check in on me, and I realized my anxiety was gone. I didn’t let it derail me or steal my joy.

Here are a few ideas for dealing with anxiety:

Stop and look for the source of the anxiety. See if there is any merit to it.
Invite someone you trust into your moment.
Pray.
Remind yourself to slow down and enjoy the process.
Be mindful of your thoughts and words.

Life runs at breakneck speeds and sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that all is well. Remember what is truly a crisis and what is an annoyance or mere, every day stuff. This is what life is about. It isn’t all the big, splashy moments. Most of our days are made up of ordinary life stuff.

I am learning to appreciate the simpleness of everyday living. At this point in my life, I am thankful to just live normal, everyday life. It is beautiful–complete with bumps and hiccups. Finding beauty in the simple, and even in the middle of challenging annoyances, is the key to living more fully and peacefully in the everyday.

Where Is Your Life?

July 22, 2015July 21, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 2 Comments

It’s been a really great summer. Sleeping in (my favorite!), road tripping around the area, reconnecting with friends, reading, watching my boy play ball, and playing taxi. Pretty much loving life and feeling grateful. We enjoyed a great day for our anniversary. We kept it simple and relaxing. And I am so thankful. My kids are pursuing their passions, living life and having a good time doing it. God is blessing their lives and you can see His love for us.

In the last few years, I haven’t always been able to say that. Maybe that’s you, too. We’ve experienced financial reversal, faced rejection, suffered at the hands of people and felt like we were going through hell. I realize that isn’t the warm and fuzzy thing to say. Suffering depression, anxiety and PTSD was never on the order list we sent up. When 4 out of 5 in your family have to be medicated just to handle daily life, I’m telling you, that’s not what you order up. Who does?

But, it happens. Life happens. I remember a couple of years ago, living life with a teenager and just being thankful we were dealing with normal teenager stuff. We had come a long way. Moving from constant crisis mode to dealing with everyday issues was such a relief. I even found some much needed humor in that.

A few years ago, I was walking the neighborhood, thinking life would never get back to normal. I just wanted it to so desperately. Whatever that was supposed to be. What I thought was normal life, happened to be a private hell for someone most dear to me. That was an eye opening thought. A paradigm shift.

Life changes—often on a dime. We had more stuff going wrong and our lives turned upside than I had ever thought possible. But, following dreams and doing big things, often stirs up the waters. We weren’t living the status quo; life threw not-status-quo stuff back at us.

But, here we are a few years out and life has smoothed out just fine. In the heat of it, when your neck is being scorched by the fire and heat, life looks pretty much like it is never again going to smooth out. That seems like a very distant memory. I got you on that one. We are looking eyeball to eyeball, and I say, I know it. It hurts. It really hurts.

I was reading some Scripture today and wanted to share it with you. My heart skipped a beat when I read it. Yes! I felt it! I knew it! Psalm 16 is a great chapter. Take a look at it with me.

Keep me safe, my God,

for in you I take refuge.

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

apart from you I have no good thing.”

I say of the holy people who are in the land,

“They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.”

Those who run after other gods will suffer more and more.

I will not pour out libations of blood to such gods

or take up their names on my lips.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup;

you make my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I keep my eyes always on the Lord.

With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,

nor will you let your faithful[b] one see decay.

You make known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Verses 5 and 6 really lit up for me. Go ahead! Check those out again! Many of the first years of living in Virginia were beyond hard. It has been a challenge testing everything we were made of and then some! But, we’ve come out on the other side. We’ve fought hard and won! We trusted in Him and depended on Him to get us through. We took refuge in Christ. We kept our eyes on Christ. I really don’t know where we would have ended up if we hadn’t had Christ. People will disappoint you; people will betray and reject you. Christ is forever the one where our hearts find peace.

So, back to the present. Life is good. Life is beautiful. When you taste the bitter, the sweet is so much sweeter! When you walk through the darkness, the light is that much brighter! When you lose things precious, the blessings are that much more treasured. You have to experience the sad to appreciate the joy.

Such is life. My life boundaries are falling in pleasant places. That makes me happy. We are doing life. It’s not perfect, but what is? But, it sure is beautiful!

A Letter To My Loves

July 15, 2015July 14, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 2 Comments

To Our Loves,

As your Dad and I celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary, I hope you have witnessed a growing, deep love. It’s hard to believe we are at 24…..next year is 25 and we will be celebrating in fine style! But until then….

Your Dad and I met in 1988. I know it seems so very long ago. We married in 1991 while we were young and full of dreams. I suggest you marry when your heart is full of love and bright with dreams. Young love can be challenging, and I often say older is probably better. But, here’s what I know, your dreams grow together and you figure out life with someone close by your side when you start out younger. Life is good in pairs. That may not work out for you exactly like that, but if your heart is open, your head is solidly on your shoulders and feet are firmly planted on the ground, run through this life together. You won’t have all the money you need (and money is really good!), but God will provide if you listen closely to Him.

You will never find the “perfect” Mr. or Mrs. Right. Everyone has flaws. You have to decide what you can live with and what is non-negotiable. Nobody you love will be perfect. Absolutely nobody. So, if you find love and depth of character, decide whether you can live this life without them. Some flaws are obviously worse than others. Run! Run, like the wind! But, you know I have taught you, they need to love Jesus, serve Him and love their family. Of course, each of you have things you love and desire and things that won’t fly. Listen to your heart! My sweet girl, if you can find someone like your Daddy, you will be a woman most blessed. My strong men, I hope in some way I have shown you what a Jesus-loving wife should represent.

Love hits bumps and gets bruises. The real beauty comes from walking out whatever life has to throw at you. Not running away. It’s the living out grace and faith through the rough patches. It isn’t always pretty or easy, but marriage isn’t just about you. The other person doesn’t complete you—you are whole just as you are. One goal of marriage is to help your Love fulfill their dreams. And together, if you both do that, you will achieve more than you ever could on your own.

As you journey together, you will change and grow. So will the Love of your life. That is good. When you are Jesus followers, He will change you and grow you. So, encourage them to grow. Life is a journey; and, no, you will not know what you or your Love will look like 24 years from the day you walk down the aisle. But, if you open your hearts and journey together, you come out on the other side even better than when you started out.

Our journey has been filled with so much fun! Trips to Walt Disney World, the Rocky Mountains and the Grand Canyon. Trips to the ocean and visits to opposite coasts. Trips to other countries and close to home. So many fabulous memories! Life is what you make it. Marriage is too. Don’t wait for the golden years or someday to live life. Do what you can, when you can. You aren’t promised those yonder days. Make the most of now. It may mean you have to do it with some financial finesse, but do it nonetheless.

Remember, the children don’t run the corner office! Teach them there is something out there bigger than them. They can’t survive without that! And, that, my dears, starts at home. Your marriage is first. Your Love is first. Yes, there are seasons in which the children’s activities will dominate the schedule. But, remember your love comes first. Do what you can, when you can! Date nights and time and moments have to be taken. Learn your Love’s love language and do what you can to meet it. It may be a stretch for you to think outside the box of your own idea of love, but do it. Try hard! Give it all you’ve got! Children need to see their parents in love. That is when they are most secure. Oh, they will complain and be grossed out—gross them out anyway!

Many times, you will be called upon to sacrifice. That is life. Sometimes you will have to give more than you think you have to give. Many times you will have to set yourself aside for the moment and give out of yourself so your Love can have what they need. And they will have to do the same. I know this flies against the current culture. Often times you will find a godly marriage will. Many times, a godly marriage will have to go counter-culture to survive and grow. In fact, I will say, most of the time you will find yourself needing to live counter-culture to protect your family. Do it! Make the sacrifice! Your home, your family and all that is to come will depend on it.

There is so much more to say that comes from 24 years of marriage. But, I’m sure that will come in time. I wouldn’t change it for the world! Yes, I wish I had done some things differently. I wish I had loved better and understood more. But life and love is a journey. Your Dad is a great example of loving—many times I feel he has done it better than I. But, we are in it for the distance! We’ve been through a lot, but we’ve also experienced so much laughter, joy and love. I wouldn’t do this journey with anybody else.

Choose wisely, my Loves! But don’t be afraid! Love and marriage aren’t perfect, but definitely worth the effort!

Oh! Say Can You See?

July 7, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 2 Comments

I think I have gypsy blood.

I always love a good road trip. I have to admit, living in Virginia makes it possible to have some grand road trips! What better time to head out than the Fourth of July. So much history and beauty surrounds us, right here in America. Living near the historical triangle and all points north and up the east coast, we have more opportunities to see and do epically cool stuff than we have time for.

My kids have “done” the DC tourist thing for the last 7 years quite faithfully. So, they are a little tired of the museums. Monuments and the White House are always cool. But, in a quest to find more chill sights, we relaxed and explored our way through this weekend.

Our first stop was our favorite local DC restaurant—Tortilla Coast. It is situated near-ish to the Capital. We usually stop there for lunch when we first hit town. Such amazing Tex-Mex. Nothing really beats it for two thumbs up! We couldn’t help ourselves and stopped by The Supreme Court and The Library of Congress buildings. Thought we would just say hello! They are just up the street from Tortilla Coast.

Tortilla Coast – June 13, 2014 in Washington, D.C. (M. Scott Mahaskey/POLITICO)

The US Supreme Court building

The Library of Congress building

This time around we opted to stay outside DC and at the National Harbor. This was a great choice for us. Being we aren’t the “rough it” type, and I have never met a tent I liked, the hotel had the requisite pool and jacuzzi and plenty of room to roam and relax. We had a great view of the Potomac and plenty of restaurants and shops to choose from. We even stopped for ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s.

National Harbor

It was nice to sleep in and move at a leisurely pace. We did some swimming and reading and chilling in the jacuzzi. We rented bikes in Georgetown and road the Crescent Trail. We are finally at the age with the kids where we can all ride safely and at the same pace. This was a definite do-again for us! We would like to take advantage of some trails closer to home—where we don’t have to rent bikes, but use our own. It is always fun to experience something together as a family and realize we all would like to do it again. The trail gave us opportunity to take some fun photos and enjoy the natural beauty of the Potomac. We biked six miles and returned just in time to avoid the downpour that held off for us!

Crescent Trail, DC

Crescent Trail rest stop

Sunday morning, after sleeping in, we had our Starbucks and loaded up. We saved Annapolis for the end of the trip….some of the best for last! What a beautiful old city! Historic Annapolis is a gem. I am in love with historic towns and their uneven, imperfect streets and houses. This was a first for us and we loved this place. And, what greater time to visit such a place than the Fourth of July weekend. Flags and bunting waved proudly from front porches and street lights. We experienced First Sunday, which is a local arts festival held on the first Sunday of each month during the summer and into the fall—live music and artisans lined the old brick paved street. Note to self: it isn’t a Farmers Market. I was kindly disabused of that notion by one artsy artist.

Anyway, we ate lunch….the children dined on hamburgers from each restaurant this weekend, except for the italian meal…they had pizza! For a local feel, we ate at the Rams Head Tavern. Very nice people; great food!

Lunch stop in Annapolis (TripAdvisor, photo cred)

Stroll through Annapolis

I’m a sucker for historic homes, so my Honey found one for us to tour. Apparently, several signers of the Declaration of Independence called Annapolis home. We visited The William Paca House and Gardens and enjoyed the walk around the neighborhoods. The stories these old brick paved streets and generations-old trees have witnessed and could tell! The families and their stories fill these homes. I am in love with Annapolis; it deserves another trip. I think I will!

Photo cred: Joshua McKerrow, The Capital Gazette

The William Paca House and Gardens

Some natural beauty, The William Paca House and Gardens

Governor’s Mansion, Annapolis

Life is made up of moments. We live far from family and so we make moments with our little family. I looked on Facebook and Instagram and saw the family get-togethers and the fun memories being made. Make the memories and have the experiences! And, they don’t have to be Pinterest worthy to be amazing!! People seem to be happier with experiences more than stuff. Take time to create that timeless bond with those you love. One of our favorite ways is through road-tripping. And honestly, you don’t have to go far or blow wads of money to make it happen. Find what works for your family.

My two youngest kiddos have discovered a love for photography. That was a fun addition to this trip. These pictures (except for the pics of the restaurants and William Paca house) were taken by them. It made for a fun, new way of discovering the world (aside from the squabbling over the camera!!).

We were missing our oldest this time around. I guess those days are coming. I’m not feeling like I’m very good at sharing, but I will keep working on it. Thank goodness for Face Time, because Mommas don’t like having any of their loves out of pocket! But, I know, the memories we have made over the years will hold him tight. Here’s to the next road trip and gypsy blood–I’m already plotting one!

I Love Big Books and I Can Not Lie!

June 22, 2015June 22, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 2 Comments

There are two things I really love. One is reading and the second is summertime. Oh, my goodness! I am addicted to books. Reading and summertime go hand in hand. To be able to read without limits is a summer daydream.

My dream of having a home library is well on its way. Ever since working as a hostess for a Christmas party during college in a home with a gorgeous library, I dream of having a home library. This library was unlike anything I had ever seen. Up to that point, I really hadn’t seen one in a home. This library came complete with mahogany wood and a ladder. I was smitten!

Well, we aren’t to the mahogany wood or ladder yet, but thousands of books we do have. I want my kids to have great books at their fingertips. Never mind we now have instant access to electronic books, the real black ink on paper is what really satisfies me.

Our community library is like heaven to me. Oh! the possibilities that wait for me there! I remember as a kid going every couple weeks to the library during the summer. I would walk the shelves looking for fantastic reads. The famous Little House on the Prairie series and stories about nurses or historical fiction filled my days. Oh, the smell of a library and the cool little check out cards that were stamped when you checked out your great finds! That was my dream job as a 13 year old. I wanted to scan the books, stamp the dates and slide that cardboard name card back into the special, little pocket. Summer childhood memories.

I remember going to college and the love of reading was stomped into the ground. So much reading; so much boring reading. But, after my eldest child was born, the love was sparked once again. This time I devoured books! They were my escape. I couldn’t get enough. I was introduced to some great Christian fiction authors and read all of their works. This reading brought light back into my soul. Reading is powerful. Books are powerful.

I have compiled a list of books I want to read this summer. I tend to be a little finicky and picky these days. I usually freestyle on the books. I wasn’t sure I could come up with a refined book list. If they don’t grab me by page 75, our relationship may come to a screeching halt. I heard somewhere if a book doesn’t pull you in by page 100, put it away. Life is too short and there are too many amazing books to force yourself to read dull books! So, that is my philosophy. Although, it is with great reluctance, this cutting off of a book not worthy of my time.

I have divided the books into three categories. I will work at these books all summer. Some may go by the wayside; something new may be added in. But, this is the start.

Personal Spiritual Growth

The Next Christians by Gabe Lyons

The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst

The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge

Abundant Simplicity by Jan Johnson

A Confident Heart by Renee Swope

Your Legacy by Dr. James Dobson

A Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning (not pictured)

Personal Enrichment

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

Words Fail Me by Patricia T. O’Conner

The Jesus-hearted Woman by Jodi Detrick

Things I Want My Daughters to Know by Alexandra Stoddard

The Nesting Place by Myquillyn Smith

Fiction

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

Somerset by Leila Meacham

All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

Find Me by Laura Van den Berg

Keep in mind I am a fluid reader. I will have more than one going at a time. Some of these may lose their fire for me. I certainly may add different titles along the way. That’s okay. Reading should be enjoyable! I just learn the lessons I can from the book and move on. My legalistic self, often feels like there is a running tally and list of books I started, but put down. But, guess what? There isn’t!

I’m all sorts of happy with my list! I get all excited when I come upon different reading lists. Practically giddy! So many new books and so many to yet cross my path. What are you reading? I would love to hear about the books you have in the stack beside you! Speaking of stacks…I have them! I’m never going to be a crazy cat lady, but I just may end up as the crazy book lady! My dream of having a home library is well on its way to great books!

Do I Have To?

June 15, 2015June 14, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 2 Comments

I have experience.

Lots of it. Some of it has come with kicking and screaming, but I have experience, nonetheless. “What experience?” you may ask.

Well, it is …..

stick-to-it-ativeness.

Yeah. It’s not as beautiful as it sounds. Trust me. Everyone has one of two tendencies. That is to fight or flee. And, actually, I am by nature a flee-er. Many times the option of “flight” seems pretty alright to me. So, honestly, I don’t come by this naturally.

But, I am married to….you guessed it! A fighter.

No, not a fighter, as in, he can’t get along with people and stirs up conflict. He is the kind that won’t run from a battle. He knows what is needed and will fight to see it happen. He’s not a quitter. His philosophy is, “I may not be smarter or more talented than others, but I can certainly outlast anybody!” Um, clearly, this has made for some great fun over the years.

I like comfort. I don’t like to go through the stretching and retching part of life. I like for everyone to like me. I want no hardships and certainly no sacrificing. I want dreams and projects to flow smoothly. I really don’t want conflict, hate it in fact. I certainly don’t want to be judged or misjudged. I like for the tasks I set my hand to to flow without hiccups or roadblocks of any sort. I want everyone to agree with me and my opinions. And, I certainly do NOT need or want rejection.

It hurts. The hard stuff hurts.

Life tends to bring along those moments when we must choose.

There isn’t any way around it. Someone or something intrudes into your dream or boundaries. Something important is at stake. The life or death of it depends on whether you stay and fight or run and flee. Maybe it’s your family, a child, a dream, or a way of life. Maybe it’s your calling or vocation. Perhaps it is fighting injustice or standing up for what or who is right. Whatever it is, you will have to choose.

Either way, everything hangs in the balance.

I’ll give you 3 examples from my life. Perhaps you can relate.

First of all, my husband and I started a new church back in 1994. We were young. We were inexperienced and truthfully didn’t have a clue as to what we had joined up for. We were still trying to figure out who we were at the tender age of 24. We had seen great success stories and figured we could pull off something just like those. It took 7 years to reach the goal of 100 people. It took even longer to acquire our own facility. We worked hard. It certainly wasn’t for a lack of hard work and sacrifice. We barely survived on the meager salary.

About the third or fourth year in, I was done. We had faced apparent failure on many levels. I wanted to quit so badly! My husband? Oh, yes, I know he did. But, we didn’t leave that congregation until 2008. He would pacify me by telling me to just give him until May. If things didn’t turn around by May, we would think about going somewhere else. Well, he knew that once winter was over in Iowa, things always look better at some level, come May. I figured him out, finally, about the third year of being told that. I’m slow.

Second story. In 2008, our family moved to Virginia to our second congregation. This seemed as if our dreams were answered in one fell swoop. Not long after moving here, it seemed as if we had stepped into a nightmare. This was a very different hard than our Iowa challenge. We faced intense obstacles, setbacks, reversals, personal attacks, rejection, strife, and twisted plots. The personal and professional price has been high. This church was in deep crisis and they weren’t in the mood to be helped. So many times I could have been packing boxes on a moment’s notice. All my husband needed to do was give me the word. I was more than done!

Final story. The first three years in Virginia seemed like they were from hell. We took a huge financial hit when the real estate bubble burst and we needed to sell our house and move to Virginia. Then, my son came to us and told us he had been sexually abused for three years by an authority figure. Then, my other child was diagnosed with a serious medical condition after months of intense, unexplained pain and slow debilitation. Then, my father passed away after battling Alzheimers for 13 years. This all happened within the first three years after moving to Virginia. There were moments during those very difficult years I began to question the presence of God in my life. I wasn’t so sure He could be trusted.

Here’s the deal.

At any given point in my life, I desperately wanted to throw in the towel. The pain felt greater than the reward. And, yes, there have been some serious sacrifices made that only God will be able to make right. But, we didn’t quit. There were no magic formulas or bribes to hold us steady. The only promise we had to go on was God would see us through. It might be painful, it might look ugly, but we would make it if we just didn’t quit. “Those who quit remember the ordeal. Those who endure remember the adventure.” That has become a life value of sorts.

There are many giftings we don’t possess. There are quite a few things we do well; there have been many mistakes along the way, too. But one thing which doesn’t require talent or gifting is something we do have—“outlast-attude”. We can outlast just about anything.

You have to dig deep. You have to stare your giant in the face and stare it down. It’s not easy. But, find the grit and the depth of character to outlast anything life throws your way. Needless to say, I’m thankful my Honey had enough hutzpah for the both of us!

Your whole life and legacy depend on it. Everyone who follows after you, depend on it. It’s not just about you anyway. It never has been.

Fits and Starts

June 8, 2015June 7, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 4 Comments

$colored-fractal-spiral-1394371137wHK$

Life comes in seasons.

Dreams and their fulfilling often come in fits and starts.

It feels like taking two steps forward and one step backward.

Sometimes, it might even feel as if nothing is happening at all.

Or, maybe it even feels like your dreams are unraveling before your eyes.

I continue to come across this quote,

“Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place.”

I like it.

I’ve often found this to be true in my life.

Maybe the waiting and wanting isn’t the problem.

Maybe that’s all part of the plan.

Sometimes, I get this picture in my mind of God sitting and watching and chuckling. Maybe He even looks at us and gives a wink. He watches us, you know. He didn’t just throw us out and leaving us flailing and falling, hoping we would find our wings and catch the wind. No, He is much more benevolent and kind. I imagine He must wonder at times why we take so long. Circling the same mountain over and over and over again. All the while, He is ready to reveal something super amazing!

We have to get out of our heads and out of the way.

So, on this, maybe I finally have.

My season of focusing solely on my family is slightly shifting. Nothing extreme or world shattering. Just a slight shift. Ever subtle, but it is enough to teach me something. For a while, I realized I didn’t have any dreams. Maybe life or crises or anxiety or depression does that. But, I found myself in that place. I found it nearly debilitating. It made me freeze in fear. How can I not have a dream?

I’m an “all in” kind of person. If I do something, it requires me to be all in. 100% full throttle in. So, that is how I mother and support my husband. A husband, three kids and a dog. Big life changes came with our firstborn stepping into college. So many things to keep up with and love and do. Thinking up a dream wasn’t really on the “To Do List”.

But, all the while I knew God had something for me to do in addition to my love of home. I kept circling and circling the mountain of purpose. It just led to discontent and sadness. It came in cycles and started coming with more and more frequency. It was just enough to unnerve and unsettle me and knock me from a place of contentment.

It’s cool how these moments force you to make the next step. It is almost like walking up a staircase…with the constant bumping into the step above you, but never able to rise up to it.

This is where I had found myself in the last couple of years.

But, life and dreams work slowly.

It isn’t a fast journey.

It takes collecting experiences and learning what is needed.

It is stopping and starting.

It is waiting and walking.

It is leaning in and pushing away.

And, if you are wrapped up in Christ, He is right in the middle of it all. Right there.

Watching and speaking.

Calling and loving.

Gently coaxing, and calmly pulling us back.

It all feels frustrating at times and even discouraging if we are honest.

The fits and starts and the collecting of experience—painful and beautiful alike.

It all serves to bring us to the place we need to be.

Slowly by slowly, the edges soften and light begins to shine through. Maybe not much at first. Perhaps, so faint you are afraid it will disappear if you turn away. But, oh, how journeying through the desert and circling the mountain teaches you so much!

I’ve learned a good deal about myself in all of this.

I’ve collected memories and thoughts and, most of all, some wisdom along the way. So, here I am. Seeing a very faint but distinct shimmer. I sit and listen quietly, searching and looking for signs and signals, hearing the wind blow and stir. My heart knows. New days and paths are leading me to what lies ahead. My heart knows nothing is wasted or useless. My heart knows its priority and first love. Even when circling a mountain I had grown entirely too familiar with, God was watching…and waiting. He was listening and shaping.

It doesn’t matter how hard you scream for your dream.

If it isn’t time for the dawning of the dream, it isn’t going to happen. God knows you. He knows your dream. He knows His dream for you. You are far too important to prematurely birth your dream. And besides, the birthing in and of itself is a long process. From the first glimpse of shimmer to full blown reality is often longer still.

But, keep this in mind. It. Is. Coming.

So, journey around the mountain. Listen and call. Watch and seek. Learn and release. And, wait. But, just do something to prepare for your dream. Waiting doesn’t mean being idle. Waiting is work. Wait and seek. Only He knows the real outcome for your dream.

I’m sure I will circle more mountains on my way. One dream is maybe not enough for my one, magnificent life. Here, though, is the lesson I am learning on the way.

I am doing great things with my life…even now. I may not be notable or noteworthy, but I am doing what I should be doing. And, as the time comes I will be ready to step into the dreams I am now dreaming. It’s time for me to dream. I think I’m getting it…and I think He is chuckling.

The Whole Of It

February 16, 2015February 15, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 1 Comment

…..May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!!

There is something that calls to me from this Scripture. You will find it in I Thessalonians 5:23-24. This world has a way of pulling us into a million pieces. Start with responsibilities, toss in a few wounds, mix in unmet expectations, throw in some disappointment and there you have it! I would never say life is all bad. But, stuff happens, and there ya go!

As a mom, one of the most important things is to see your children whole and happy—living to the fullest. When you see one of those cubs struggling to stay afloat, your instincts kicks into gear. I’m sure you are familiar with “Mother Bear” syndrome. I’m really familiar with it!

I do believe I lived in Mother Bear mode for about 3 years. There’s not a thing that can be said to a woman in full-on MB. Those cubs are the treasures and the way I see it, it’s our responsibility (with my honey) to get them from start to adulthood in one relatively good, solid piece. They need to be someone people can stand to be with and do something good with the space they take up. They need to pursue their passions and dreams and be all they can be.

So, when life starts getting in the way and you see your treasures fracturing and losing their handhold, MB mode is on high alert! My prayers for my hurting child were for him to be whole…. nothing missing and nothing broken in his life. I didn’t want the pain and anguish he experienced at the hand of someone so incredibly selfish to derail and destroy greatness within. I prayed and prayed for the wholeness which was rightfully his.

I remember God spoke to my heart that “he had seen it all” and my child and family would be healed and whole. He cared even more than I did. I wrote it down. I clung to that promise as my lifeline. That was over 2 years ago. I haven’t forgotten.

But, there have been times I have felt that the progress just was not good enough. It wasn’t a complete enough healing. I remember telling God during a particular season this wasn’t going to be good enough. Next try, please. I’m not sure what God thought about that. But, I felt I was exercising my faith. I knew God told me the broken parts would be healed….this wasn’t healed, as I understood healing! It certainly was a start, but I was believing for wholeness. There was a pain and hurt so deep that only God could touch it. But, I believed. I hid that promise in my heart.

I’ve watched him on this journey. Huge steps forward and some hiccups along the way. He wants it just as much as we do for him. It takes time and is a long journey that is neither easy nor enjoyable. But the strength of his spirit is inspiring and one of a true fighter; he will not be labeled a victim. For all of us, we want quick, easy answers and solutions to the pain and loss. We know such answers won’t come. But, I haven’t stopped believing!

Now, here we are. Three years later, great ground has been covered, healing has taken place, much learning and growing has been experienced. And, I am still watching and listening. God is answering and doing what he said he would do.

I just had an incredible conversation with my boy. He experienced God in a powerful way during his university’s chapel service a couple of weeks ago. He isn’t one to share his personal pain on a constant basis and has a list in his heart he knew intimately….hurt and pain he had just assumed would always be there. He was coping. God said, “That’s not good enough.” God promised…..and he is delivering. God came in that moment….even when my boy wasn’t looking for it. He met him there and brought more healing and hope to the hidden and private pain. He talked of joy like he hadn’t experienced in years. Oh! How a mama’s heart is healed by hearing such things.

When God promises something, he delivers. Our timetable is rarely correct. He doesn’t work on Human Standard Time. When he promises he will make you whole, putting together body, mind and soul, that is what he intends to do. I haven’t given up. It comes out of nowhere, looking different than I expect. But, oh my!

A few days before my son’s extraordinary moment with God, God sent a reminder to me of this very verse. I took note. He gently reminded me and turned my head toward him. I knew. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came and amazed us once again.

He’s just cool like that.

Gratitude = Great Attitude

January 26, 2015January 26, 2015 / morgancreynolds / 4 Comments

Kind of a cheesy title. Sorry about that! But it struck me once again as I sit here and love on my four-legged, furry baby! I’m grateful for Kingsley Rose!

Gratitude is the one guaranteed life changer ….. or at least change how you view it!

This gal’s sole purpose is to love and be loved. She is nothing but a lover! We affectionately refer to her as our PTSD dog. For years, I was set against getting a dog. I certainly didn’t understand the super dog lovers. They were dirty, smelly animals that chewed up things and got into trouble and would probably meet an untimely end like all my childhood dogs. Nope! Not gonna do it. I didn’t get it.

When we were going through our crisis, somehow the stars aligned and my heart was softened. I remember it very clearly. The door of my heart cracked open and my Honey pounced on it like LIFE depended on it! Money was exchanged and before I knew it we were the humans to a very cute, very spunky, very fluffy, very loving, little white dog. I laugh, because God knew what we needed. And sometimes it is the smallest of things that blesses you the most. In her small little package comes more healing and laughter and peace than you might imagine of a little, fluffy dog.

It is from the unlikeliest of places that God brings the greatest of joys. Sometimes the greatest gifts come wrapped in unusual packaging. During that time, I was learning I had to get my eyes off our crisis and refocus my attention on the many things to be thankful for. I wasn’t called to be thankful FOR the pain that rocked my family. But, I was called to be thankful IN the pain.

I took the challenge to keep a running list of gratitude. Whether big or small, it went into my gratitude journal. If you start intentionally looking for the gifts you’ve been given, you will be surprised how many there really are.

Even in the seemingly starkest and most desolate circumstances you might be facing, God reveals his grace.

In the early days of my journaling of the gifts, it was hard. Some days were easier. Some days the page laid blank because I could’t find one single, solitary thing to be thankful for. As I looked back over my list and neared 1,000 reasons to be thankful, the one thing that popped up over and over was…you guessed it! Our sweet, loving, lovable four-legged friend. She soothed our souls and made us belly laugh. She knew when there were tears and she nuzzled up to check on us. And so many times, she just knew WE needed to play with her.

So, you see, it is quite comical.

When we do what seems to be the most impossible thing to do

—like being grateful in the really ugly times—

God has a way of surprising us with the greatest joy!

In order to get the biggest pay off, you have to find the gratitude in the hardest hard. It literally saved my life. It got my attention off of the loss and pain and onto the gifts God had already given in the every day.

I soon realized that the simple-magnificent was right before me.

You too might just save your life, or maybe just your mind, but nonetheless, you can’t lose if you focus on the graces you are given each day. I challenge you to start a running gratitude list for each and every day. I think you will be surprised at what you find. I dare you!

I’d love to hear your gratitude! Please share with me and we can smile together!

PS. If you need further inspiration, I highly recommend this resource. It challenged me and changed my life. http://www.aholyexperience.com/one-thousand-gifts-book/

Amberly reynolds

sweet sage lane

joy